So, these days I have more time to myself than I could ever think of. Busy studying, busy reviewing, busy helping, busy, busy and just busy again. That's how my life used to be before quarantine. Now, I can't even remember what that busy feeling was.
Since I've got an unexpected amount of free time, I couldn't realise at first what I should do with it. I was curious about my empty schedule's next elements. But soon enough boredom squeezed itself in it. With it came serious thoughts, thoughts I'd rather ignore. Thoughts I don't dare to face.
In the beginning, I thought it was just me inviting my paranoid self in. However, through engaging on social media and listening to news from time to time, I got to know that many shared the same thoughts as me. We're all scared and unaware of the dangers lying infront of us.
What should I do now? What next? College won't be starting now. Just sitting still doesn't help, so I wanted to volunteer. I was enthusiastic about it. But the hurdles kept growing larger, making it impossible for a person of my stature (an interested but underaged student with no special experience) to join. Instead, I planned with my parents to donate a sum. Because, if my physical abilities can't help, hopefully our financial support can aide those in need.
Heavy rainfall, in several countries including mine, resulted in devastating floods all over again. Businesses got hampered even more than before. Besides, news channels depressed me with the regrettably unchanging sad news. People are dying everywhere everyday.
During this time, something became quite clear to me. Nothing exists being flawlessly good. Nothing is absolutely bad. No person, no decision, no suggestion. There may be a few exceptions but almost everything is grey. A combination of both good and bad.
As I previously mentioned, I've had a vast amounts of free time these few months. I used it for getting to know things and subjects that were previously unknown to me. Youtube was my friend here. I browsed through several topics there. This ranged from topics like the Bermuda triangle, WWI, WWII, Ted Ed, famous Ted talks, sometimes a little bit of ZeFrank and many more.
For entertainment purpose, I watched and rewatched plenty of movies and TV series on Netflix. GOT, Modern Family, Grey's Anatomy. I followed the surging trend of South Korean culture as well. Watching K Dramas, fangirling K Pop. Crash Landing On You, It's Okay Not to be Okay and BTS, Seventeen, Wanna One. At times I read the previously unread books from the shelf. Lord of the Rings being my current muse.
Observations and thoughts combined, several things swirled in my mind.
I realized that no one is without flaws. Everyone has their very own reasons for doings whether right or wrong for reasons only they know. But the bubble bursting moment for me was when I realized that it was okay to be good with a little flaw. A flaw that can be overcome when needed.
The society can no longer accept only the ones who are faking perfection. Its time for the real ones to come up and claim their well deserved rights. Equality being engraved at heart will surely make a change someday. But it is not up to us to decide the grounds of this equality. It was predetermined anyway, when we were all born as Humans.
